I nearly got creamed on Tampa Blvd. by a white with gold appointments Escalade full of trucker hat wearing youngsters bullshitting with each other throwin' up their hands to bass heavy hip-hop instead of paying attention to the road. Thing ran the light way late and missed my middle-of-the-intersection-turning-left-with-nowhere-to-go car by an inch. One. Inch. I watched it come towards me, not stopping and thought I was going to die.
My last thought?
Oh shit. My vibrator is on the coffee table. Eww.