More Right Than Wrong With The World

"Groundhog Day," Bill Murray's best IMO, is up on Hulu.  It'll only be available until August 31st, so grab it soon and often.  My favorite line?  "Don't drive angry."

Glad I Finally Learned A Thing Or Twelve: A Personal And Ribald Aside

See this video?

Point should be noted.  The "what you did" argument that can perhaps enlighten or at least not get your point lost in personal vitriol vs. the "what you are" argument that will slip into throw down.  Deep.  I watched it many times to truly understand the point.

And...

Heartfelt recognition bitch slapped me hard because they're still making this sort of brilliant quick talking logic making can't be pushed around arrogant self involved motherfucker that I usedta lose my heart and my snatch to in a hot minute knowing full well that I can match him wit for wit but rarely daring to try because a brother this sure of himself just can't be gracefully bested and it always ends in me feeling like I was too smart and he will not match me on the toe line instead fucking with my brain with epithets like "I'm just trying live correct" with an almost imperceptible head shake of distress and there's really nothing correct about me feeling less and taking months to get over it wondering how someone so smart and funny and smart who fucked me like I was butterscotch velvet with hands in my hair and humid whispers in my ear can now turn and strut not walk away like I'm just another piece of difficult and interchangeable snatch leaving me with less heart to give to the next smarty-pants so that now right now with mumble-mumble smarty-pantses and mumble-mumble years gone I got nothing left to feel with so I don't.

Um...  My issue.  I have no idea who this young brother is but his argument's tight, huh?

All Is Right With The World

"Weird Science" is up on Hulu.

Mama Is Right About Clean Underwear

I nearly got creamed on Tampa Blvd. by a white with gold appointments Escalade full of trucker hat wearing youngsters bullshitting with each other throwin' up their hands to bass heavy hip-hop instead of paying attention to the road.  Thing ran the light way late and missed my middle-of-the-intersection-turning-left-with-nowhere-to-go car by an inch.  One.  Inch.  I watched it come towards me, not stopping and thought I was going to die.

My last thought?

Oh shit.  My vibrator is on the coffee table.  Eww.

But Where Did The Mass Before The Big Bang COME FROM!!!

This is an 8 minute clip (beginning with and including 4 brief commercials) from a 36 minute documentary on Hulu entitled "Cosmic Voyage."  It is at once wondrous and disturbing.  It presents, in quick order, theories regarding outer space, inner space, big bang, black holes and others in impressive (at least to me) computer animation.  It freaked me and my limited understanding the frak out.

I should say, though, that that one time a hundred years ago when I did mushrooms with my boyfriend and his best friend and I sat on the living floor in the dark shaking and breathless with an ecstasy I've never again experienced, even with you know who (who could drop ecstasy on a sister to just pass time), because I understood completely the universe -- it looked JUST LIKE THIS!

First Rule of Anonymous Sec's; Don't Talk About Anonymous Sec's

So, I've made it my business to invite some people I know to this blog.  How else can I get it read?  Some of the people I've invited work with me, so I'm going to ask that those that do, if you're indeed reading on a regular basis, let's not discuss it at work.  Let's keep it on the down low.  Why?  The reasons are several-fold.

And by the way, this post is about other notable facts about Anonymous Sec's as well.

I don't want my blog persona outed.  I want to be free to express myself without somebody who knows who I am in RL to come at me about something I express here.  Folks I work with, know who I am, will witness my thoughts, opinions, rants (reasonable and unreasonable) being laid bare here.  I'd like to keep that wall up.  So instead of e-mailing me at work or talking to me within that otherworld of work, please feel free instead to comment away.  I do suggest you comment anonymously or adapt a nom de plume, as it were.  I also suggest you read other people's comments and engage.

The thing about talking about Anonymous Sec's at work?  It is exclusive.  There's nothing worse than secret societies.  I hate them.  They're all cliqueish and in-crowd-y and I don't want to be that way at work.  It's my opinion that it has kind of become that way at work, and I have no choice but to deal with it because it ain't my ship to captain (though I'm fairly certain I'm rowing), but I don't want to contribute to it there.  I wouldn't feel good about that.  Yeah, I long for the halcyon days of my work environment but as it's been requested of me time and again, I'm endeavoring to "let it go."

Also, regarding work and Anonymous Sec's, I don't post from work.  I don't look at comments at work.  I don't engage in this at all.  This is on my time, what little of it I have.  I do that because I don't think it's ethical and also, I don't want the powers that be (TPTB) to come at me with some humbug bullshit about bettering my personal existence and fulfilling my soul on their time -- and all of a sudden, I'm out of a job.  Hey, it happens.  Everyone knows that a job is there to crush you, not lift you up, or at least not while they're paying you.  I'm half serious there.

And, I won't talk about work on Anonymous Sec's, other than anything I wouldn't discuss with TPTB outright.  Luckily, I don't do much of anything that I wouldn't have heralded on the front page of the New York Times.  I may not be proud of it, it may at times leave me humiliated, ashamed, downtrodden and weeping, but I will own up to it, particularly if asked.  Also, if I were to get all closed society and start complaining here about all the crap and all the people that piss me off there, well, nothing of substance will get written.  And I want this to be ABOUT something, y'know.  I'll end up whining and you'll end up leaving, mumbling about how self-involved I am and then I'll be forced to defend myself with "Goddamn, y'all.  It's a blog.  That's what blogs do."

But I digress.

To the right there are websites I regularly visit and get my news from.  These are my favorites.  This is a lefty blog, but the right is welcome also (I miss you Old Boss, the blue-eyed Republican boy ::sniff::), as long as everyone is civil.  I won't administer this thing from work, so the last thing I want is a flame war outbreak while I'm blithely serving my masters at work.  Of course, I should be so lucky that enough people are around to break out flaming, but you get my point.

The best time to read this thing, I think, will be in the morning.  My plan is to come home at night, decompress, and start looking around the internets for things to pontificate on and then pontificate early in the morning.  It takes me a long time to write stuff because I sweat every word (have I said that before?), but my hope is to have something up daily.  The subject matter of my pontifications may not be timely because...soul-sucking job and interminable commute, but I'll try and I'll probably get better and quicker at expressing myself.

I'll be e-mailing all the people I've strong-armed into checking Anonymous Sec's out with news that a new post is up.  That e-mail to you will be short and sweet.  Feel free to pass news of this thing on, just be careful of my real identity -- see above.  I'd caution those I work with to pass on the referral via your private or home e-mail, not the work one.

I'm going to be trying some different blog layouts, so if anything catches your fancy, speak up.  This is a work-in-progress.  It's not in focus yet.  It will be.  Or it won't.  Who knows?

For those that are here and plan to check in regularly, thank you.  I really appreciate your support.  If I know you're here, I'll be more responsible about posting because I apparently have to have other people counting on me to accomplish anything.  For my own good isn't good enough, it seems.

Anything I write for Spencer Ackerman's Attackerman will be cross-posted here, but I urge you to check out Attackerman.  Boy knows his shit and frankly, a lot of it goes over my head.  Think on that.  The Middle East, its politics, players, and purpose is complicated.  But because of his focus, I've become more knowledgeable and informed about the war.  Comments are welcome there as well.

On a personal note, people have liked what I've written before, but Spencer is the first to support my writing on a regular basis.  And he doesn't coddle me, so what I do there is some of the most sincere effort at writing I've made -- I'm looking to impress the boy.  Thank you so very much Spence.  It means the world to me.

The name of the blog comes from my desire to be anonymous and "sec" is short for secretary, my profession.  This is Anonymous Sec's blog.  Geddit?  The double entendre was at first unintentional but then I noticed and well, it can be good.

I think that's it for now.

Anonymous Sec's

SERIOUSLY? "BABY MAMA?"

First posted on Attackerman on June 12, 2008.

I’m home sick today, depleting my already meager vacation time to nurse myself. But ever the albeit neophyte political news junkie I blame Spencer and Megan and Jezebel and Jack and Jill Politics and Matthew Yglesias and Ta-Nehisi Coates and The Field Negro, Baldilocks (yeah, I know, but I like the way if not what she writes) The Corsair and Too Sense among many others, for making me (ah for the days of ignorant bliss), I spent my sleepless night lurking the internet.

A lot has been made of Fox News’ captioning of Michelle Obama with the term “baby mama.” Counterpoint by several sources says that Mrs. Obama referred to her husband as her “baby daddy.”

I say all arguments are irrelevant to what should be the issue. In my sleepless haze, I’ve written to both Fox News (yeah, that’ll be heard) and NYT with my point, which I hope is as cogent in the clear light of day as it seemed last night.

News, real news, or what I remember as real news, has an obligation to uphold at least minimum standards and judgment. The term “baby mama,” while seemingly acceptable in colloquial conversations or in reference to entertainment or gossip – and I question even the wisdom of that – has no place in THE NEWS!

Oh, and as an aside, though it would be equally wrong, where is Fox News’ blaring of the picture of Mrs. McCain captioned with that awful invective (or approximation thereof) cavalierly ascribed to her by her husband?

It irritates me that African-American colloquialisms, mannerisms, dress, music, physical attributes, the list goes on, have been co-opted by America in such haphazard fashions. By that I mean parts of the culture are understood and claimed piecemeal (“baby mama”) but the whole (among which, church and history) is somehow “other.” Many ethnic cultures are co-opted, this is a multi-ethnic country, but my guess is that if Fox News were an individual, he/she would stress less if she/he woke up one morning Scots-Irish than if they woke up Black Like Me.

But on topic: IT’S THE NEWS!

I have to lie down.

THE SMART-ASS COMEBACK, BUT I LOVE YOU BOO

Jack and Jill Politics pointed me to a rundown of Matthew Lynch at Black State's Top Ten Reasons Black Men... do something. I don't remember. Well, yes, I do. Top Ten Reasons Why Black Men Don't Date Black Women. I wrote a response. I didn't think it was really appropriate for Attackerman, so I posted in the comments section of JJP...like a comment whore. Read Matthew's screed, read JJP's post and read my comment below.

*****************

Well, gee, Matthew. I didn’t know I was being so mean. But I do want to take a moment and address your and your 5 friends’ concerns. Let me address them separately, okay, Boo? Perhaps we can do something to reach a healthy and happy middle ground. And I’m not even going to go call 5 of my friends to reach a consensus. I’m going to fly solo. Aren’t you proud of me?

Before we talk, though, would you like me to fix you a sandwich? No? Okay. Well, let me slip on my heels and we can talk.

1. Black women make black men feel under-appreciated, unwarranted and irresponsible and regressive.

Oh, Honey. I appreciate you. God knows that just living this life is a hard hame and I’m grateful that I don’t have to pull alone. The way we pool our resources is just awesome, like we’re equal or something. And you doing the dishes last month? I cried. You are so into this.

2.  Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man.

Okay, yes. I asked you out first. But only because I thought we both wanted that, and didn’t we, Boo? I mean, you seemed into it that night (remember, Sweetie?) and here we are in all our awesomeness. If I was being too aggressive, you could have ignored me, just like all those girls at the bar were ignoring you.

3. Black women are strong headed, too independent which presents great challenges in relationships.

Precious! I thought you liked strong head. Oh! Oh! Strong headED. Oh, Sugar, silly me. You mean that I think I know my mind, pay my bills and ask that you pee IN the toilet or if you can’t, then you clean up the scattershot? Okay, then. Of course. You can pay my bills. And I promise to never ever think again. I’ll be a doll. A quiet doll. And it’ll look like I’m always saying “Oh!”

4. Black women are masculine in that they are controlling and like to run the relationship.

You mean because I have your dick in my hand, Snookums. Honestly, Sweetheart, you weren’t using it and I thought, “Two of us, one dick! And it’s Black Dick, Too!? Dammit, we can conquer the world.” But I see how you can feel that way. Here’s your dick, Beloved. I won’t touch it again.

5. Black women expect too much. They are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man.

Okay, Angel, that’s not fair. You have no gold. And is the value of gold really that high in today’s market? Oh, but you’re not talking about me? Then what golddiggers are you speaking of, Babydoll? I know this is stupid but for some reason and here I go thinking again…and after I promised…but for some reason I keep thinking about a line from “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.” Yeah, your favorite movie. Anyway, Lorelai Lee says, “A man being rich is like a girl being pretty. It isn’t necessary. But, my goodness, doesn’t it help.” Don’t get all mad, My Prince. I don’t want rich. I want you and all our awesomeness.

6. Black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes.

Oh, Dollface. You know that’s only at work.

7. Black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age.

Oh, AllThatIAm! I care. Look at my heels. Are you using my mother as an example? Okay, she’s a little heavy on the appliquéd sweatshirts and she’s not big on make-up. But she’s in good shape and she’s boning your friend Ronnie so he likes her appearance. But I promise to never ever gain weight. I know! We won’t have kids. See. Problem solved.

8. Black women are not as sexually open as other races, especially in regards to oral sex.

Mmmrphgggllmmr. Let me up, Dearheart. What?! No, I won’t remove my finger. Not until you take that back!

9. Black women’s tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man’s struggle in white America.

Sigh.

10. Black women do not cater to their men.

Matthew. Matthew. Matthew. I'm being flip, I know. That used to make you laugh, but no matter.

Hey, Matthew. Why don’t we try something new and exciting, hmm? Why don’t we come to this thing on equal footing, realizing that our gender is a subset of being human. That’s our commonality. We’re human beings who love each other. If we want a caterer, then we should throw a party. A party celebrating how amazing it is that we found each other because the odds were not there. I don’t need you to be anything but the best person you can be. I will try to do the same. If you do that, I'll walk through the gates of hell with you and you'll trust that I'll always be beside you. And let’s forget all this Top Ten Reasons foolishness. If you want a white girl and you love her, I say to find love is a blessing. Be with her for deep or even for shallow reasons because I don’t want to stunt your self-discovery.

But Matthew. Sweetie. Honey. Sugar. Baby. If you want me – like I want you? Let's promise to make each other believe how human and lucky we are ever single day.

Your Baby forever,
Anonymous Sec's