Racist Dick Brought Low

UPDATE:  This was originally published on 2/11/10!!!  Good lord.  I'm bringing this to the top because it amuses me and I linked to here at FB, so why not stuff I like up front.  Thanks.
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So Playboy interviewed John Mayer and the internet and its contributors have gone all Heathers, picked out some admittedly awful quotes and deemed him pariah. I'm sad to say that I contributed. I'm also loathe to link to TMZ but here's why he's not eating with the popular kids in the cafeteria.

But it's worth it to read the interview, header and all. Something I should have done before mouthing off. Blogs and politics are seductive that way. You read a snippet of something outrageous, have an immediate outraged reaction, and comment about your outrage. And other outraged commenters note your outrage by adding to it. And we're all outraged.

Here's my theory. This interview is irrefutable proof that he is a cocky 32 year old white talented male rock star who got to hang out in the studio with equally talented black folks. Let's say Jay Z and Kanye (himself no stranger to outrage) and maybe Common. Probably Jay Z, while counting his money, offhandedly told Mayer he was a badass guitar playing motherfucker. And then Mayer was just there being Jay's guitar playing motherfucker while Jay Z, Common and Kanye had some "we just talking bullshit" conversation about white-girl crazy. Mayer, stoked beyond the telling of it that Jay Z called him "motherfucker" got into the spirit of things, dropped some yammer about exacly how big Jessica's tits are and what it's like to fuck an almost virgin, everyone laughed (he made them laugh!!!!), got comfortable and nobody was self-censoring. John, imagining that it would be that way in the world for him because after all, his touring band is mostly black and they do the same thing with him and he's, well...John Mayer...and incorporated what he thought to be the truth of him hanging out with black folks for a minute and ran his mouth.

Now see, I blame Jay. And while I'm at it, I'll pull Common and Kanye's and John's band's coattails too. You know you should have told your bad ass guitar playing motherfucker that that bullshit you talk - is just that...bullshit. Don't REPEAT IT.

Yeah, AND. John should have never racialized his dick because if his dick is racist, then he is racist. Much as men like to refer to their peens as something other than they, it is not. It's attached to you, it is, therefore...yours. So, if you think it's just your dick that wants to screw Jessica Simpson*, it is not. It is you. Own it.

And if your dick doesn't open itself up to the concept of sex with black women, then you don't either. And that's hard for me, at least, to hear. It plays into too many insulting concepts about standards of beauty in America.

So, upshot? John was just talking out his neck.

Here's John apologizing. And I still like "Gravity" and he is a badass guitar playing motherfucker. Jack White's better though.



*It seems like I'm bagging on Jessica Simpson but I'm not. I think she's had a hard row to hoe - a row she doesn't understand.